Dear Professors

Professors. You know, those people that we students stand around in the hallway and gripe about. Those people who don't usually get payed enough for the amount of effort they put into their class.

Dear Professors,
This is a thank you and an apology. Thank you for devoting your life to furthering the education of young adults. Especially because a lot of the time we fail to actually act like adults. This is an apology for when you're called names I wouldn't want to repeat. This is an apology that some of us have failed to leave the high school childish attitudes behind us. This is an apology for those of us who fail to handle things maturely.
Thank you for using your time, often late into the night to grade our tests that we complain about studying for. Thank you for the extra credit we so often take for granted.
This is an apology for expecting you to be perfect. For forgetting that you're just as human as we are. For forgetting that very often you too have families who need your time and attention. For begging for mercy when we're too lazy to do the work, much less even attend your class and then start falling behind and then bashing you when you mess something up.
Thank you for putting up with us. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your time. Thank you for supporting us when we're raising money for an organization. And to those of you who take the time to know what is going on with us students outside of your class, we appreciate you.

Sincerely,
    One student

P.S. Disclaimer, this may step on some toes. That said, I cannot speak for every student. But this is to let you know that at least one student does care. 

This is Not the End

Sometimes when life is going great we create a picture in our mind of that moment. And no matter how bad things get, we hold on to that idea of the perfect situation we once had. Even when we're hurting, we cling to that hope of things returning back to the state they once were.

But then, there comes that day. That day when the hope, the mental picture of how life used to be and once could be again, is destroyed. You suddenly realize, there's no going back. You can only move forward. And while some things may be restored as once before, in your situation that is not what is meant to be.

To quote Kid President, "And it hurt man!"

Life can hurt. 

But guess what?

It doesn't end there. 

Yes, life hurts. Sometimes we wonder why things happen to us. But as C.S. Lewis said so wisely:

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." 

It's easy to get caught up with the wondering. But in the end, we have to remember that God is so much bigger than any hurt. He cares about us more than anyone else on this earth can. But He also uses these times in our lives to stretch and grow us.

  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
  He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names.
  Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.
              Psalm 147:3-5

Are You Listening?

I love meeting new people. Making new friends. It is a wonderful thing. Every person has their own unique qualities, quirks, and those little things they do that get on your nerves.

The best part about meeting new people is hearing their story. Why they are where they are at that point in time.

I think one of the most beautiful things on earth is when someone you may not even know well, shares their story. I find that as people share with me, we can usually find a struggle or joyous time in common. I remember at one point in the semester after hearing about someone's journey in life, I walked away feeling enriched.

The more people I meet, the more I learn. Ever since you were born, you've been learning from other people. Your parents, your siblings, your relatives, your friends, your teachers and more. Every person you come in contact with you are learning from. Whether it's just learning a fact about that particular person, you learned something!

I was browsing through Pinterest earlier and ran across this quote:

After reading it, I instantly knew how guilty I am of this.

This makes me sad.

Why?

Two reasons. One of them is selfish. The other is because I have been selfish.

1. Because I would not want to be treated that way.
2. Because I know I have have been selfish so often by letting my own thoughts crowd out the listening space in my brain. (If there is such a thing.)

 Think about how you reply in conversations. Just think for a minute.

Okay, done thinking?

I don't know about you, but most of the replies that come out of my mouth are somehow based about the things I want to talk about, rather than actually being based on the conversation. 

I wonder how many things I have missed learning by not listening.

Guys, gals, ladies and gentlemen. Or, more simply put: y'all. Let's start listening. When we start listening, our replies will be made with understanding.

And to end on a lighter note.. TALKING PEANUTS! (Watch the following video to understand)

Save it for Later

"If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come." -C.S. Lewis

Today was not the first time I read this quote. It's actually one of those quotes that makes me cringe and wish I hadn't read it. I wish I could ignore how true it is. And how much it needs to apply to my life.

I procrastinate and get myself in tight/anxious corners, because of it. You probably know those times I'm talking about. The day where your stomach is in a knot because you have a performance or something due the next day and you have procrastinated getting ready for so long that you're trying to cram everything in. Every happy thought is taken over by, "YOU FAILURE! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS!" And you're trying to work so hard that it's hard to work.

You get it. You've probably been there.

At this point, I could have you sitting here and reading about how you should do your your assignments (or whatever you should be doing) as soon as you can and not procrastinate. Blah, blah, blah. We've all heard it, and it will not benefit for you to see it written here. Plus, it would make me a hypocrite.

There's more to it, though, than just procrastinating on things like assignments. I can think of several things during the last semester that I procrastinated on that I really wish I hadn't. But more than anything, I regret procrastinating on reading my Bible. The above quote really summarizes how I excused not having time in the Word each day. It seemed like I never had enough time. Surely there would come a day where I was less busy, tired and such. Then I would focus on the Word.

Or more likely, hang out with friends.

I know that God is not judging me for not spending time in the Word every single day. It's about quality, not quantity. But my quantity lacks greatly. Even now, on the break from school, I find myself "too busy."

Do I have this all sorted out and fixed? Absolutely not.

Just remember, "favorable conditions never come."

I hope that whatever this quote applies to in your life, you will take into consideration. How would you like to change your situation? When will you change it? Why are you changing it?

Go. For. It.

Steadfast Love

The past couple of days I've been thinking about the phrase "steadfast love." 

I was challenged to memorize one Bible verse per week recently. I haven't done so well at the one per week part, but I have done some memorization. The first verse that I memorized was Hosea 10:12:

"Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love;

Break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you."

After taking more than one week to memorize that, I decided to begin memorizing Psalm 51, verse by verse. It has been one of my favorite passages for quite some time, so why not have it down by heart? As I began to look at the first verse, I realized it contained the same phrase, "steadfast love."

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; 

according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions." 

What does it mean to have someone's steadfast love? 

Well, this is what Merriam-Webster dictionary defines steadfast as: 

1 a : firmly fixed in place : immovable
b : not subject to change

Our world is full of people and things that constantly change, which is the opposite of steadfast! 

But while everything is changing, we long for something steadfast. We run to things in this world that we think will be steadfast, only to be disappointed. Our friends will not always be there, our jobs may not be reliable, and when we find this all to be true, we are left empty and dissatisfied. 

That is when we discover the One who is steadfast. He never changes, He never leaves, He is forever. He is God. God's love for us is steadfast. There will be times when we mess up so big, that our friends may want to turn their backs on us. And we may be deserving of that. But even so, God's love does not change. 

Never once, do we ever walk alone:

What Music Means to Me

 I had to write the following essay for one of my classes. At first it was "another" assignment to consume more of my time. But as I started writing, I realized the importance of the assignment and enjoyed writing it. So, I thought I would share it with you! 

What Music Means to Me

            Music is so complex and so challenging. I think sometimes that those who do not understand music see it as an easy way out of a “real” career. But those of us who know the depth of music understand how emotional, time consuming, and difficult it can be. This is not meant in a negative sense.

The emotional aspect of music gives us an outlet. When we are angry, sad, melancholy, or happy our music will express it. At one point during high school I had one piece that I learned on the piano that I really liked. I would sit down probably at least 3 times a day and play it. Each time the piece sounded different because my emotions were changing. The piece was supposed to imitate the sounds of a river, but very often it would sound like a very angry river and at other times it would be a slow and sad sounding river. I believe that this is a way that I experienced “Music as Sanctuary.”

    

        Music is something worth consuming your time with. Yes, there has to be a balance in it all. As I study music in college, not only is music part of my education but it is also worship for me. I love playing music for the worship service on Sunday mornings, or ending my practice sessions with a worship song to glorify God. Something that I regret is not being more devoted to my music in high school. But now as I begin my journey in Music Therapy, I’m realizing the aspect of “Music as Wisdom.” My practice sessions and every other aspect of my learning process are for God. I wish I had realized the wisdom in taking a hold of this thought process when I was in high school.

    

        So many times when someone hears the word “difficult,” they hesitate or back away. But for those who decide to push through the difficulty of a music degree, or even just the process of learning an instrument, we are able to experience “Music as Determination.” It really is a beautiful thing when you persevere and conquer a concept of music that you do not understand. The determination we experience is so rewarding.  When we are determined, we push ourselves to learn better and in the end we become a better person for it.

When Life Consumes

I've been telling myself I need to post an update on life. And every time I sit down and try to write, my mind goes blank and my life seems dull.

The one thing I can think to tell you about is a life lesson I'm currently processing. I may be processing it the next four years, but hey, acknowledging it is good.

Last week, the 3rd week into school I was already letting things mess with my mind. A million little things began to consume me. Monday and Tuesday I was swallowed by how "busy" I was. As much as I seriously don't want to admit this, it almost became an attention thing. "Look at all I'm doing!" The funny thing about the things we do to draw attention to ourselves, is that it never brings any satisfaction. Maybe for a moment, but after that moment is over--poof--we're back to being miserable, needy, attention-grabbers.

I am happy to report that by Wednesday, I came to my senses. God placed certain things in my life to make me realize exactly how over dramatic I was feeling/being. He gave me the strength to realize I needed to move on from all the unnecessary distractions that had been created.

It's still a struggle. Those times when I'm tired, uncaffeinated (Yes, I know that is not a word), or just plain feeling insecure are when I feel the need to be consumed by my "busyness." But I know that God is by my side patiently reminding me of His grace, goodness, loving-kindness and mercy. Yes, music majors have busy schedules. No, BethAnn is not the first to be one of those busy music majors. God is bigger.





And a song to end this post:

Blessings!